The Hidden Homophobia War That Stems From Same-Sex Dreams

You might think the world has made huge strides in the past decade in making homosexuality more acceptable. While this opinion does reflect a modicum of truth, this acceptance is not whole-scale and is highly dependent on region of the world, and on demographic factors like education, religion, race, age, and gender. The reality is that at the ‘ground level’ homosexuals in even the more progressive countries are still habitually at risk of confronting considerable opposition, alienation, prejudice, and ridicule. So, in a world that is still considerably anti-gay what might the consequences be of the majority of heterosexual people having at least one same-sex dream in their lifetime? (See previous blog (The Prevalence And Meaning Of Same-Sex Dreams.) What also of the consequences of not-so-uncommon childhood same-sex encounters and their potential to affect our adult sexual psyches by casting lingering doubt on the veracity of our heterosexual orientations?

As per my previous blog, same-sex dreams relate to aspects of our sexual psychology that often times remain inaccessible to us in our waking lives, existing in a repressed state. This repression is at root a response to societal disapproval of homosexuality. Most heterosexual individuals are able to downplay the significance of their homoerotic dreams and/or childhood homosexual experiences because they either attribute them to normative aspects of human existence, or because they are sufficiently accepting of homosexuality to not pay them any more heed than they rightly deserve. This is not the case with homophobic individuals. They are perturbed by such events in direct proportion to (a) how recurring their homo-erotic dreams are, (b) the extent to which they sense even a faint attraction to the same sex, and (c) how homophobic they are.

Western society is more un-accepting of male homosexuality than female homosexuality, by-and-large. Thus, a homophobic male in particular who has experienced a troubling same-sex dream or past homosexual encounter, will likely wish to keep his experiences personal. You would think that accomplishing this would be as simple as not verbally disclosing such experiences to others. That will work just fine with liberal-minded heterosexuals, since they are not preoccupied with others’ sexual orientation and perceive only what is overt.

However, this strategy of verbal non-disclosure does not work with the homophobes I am referring to in this blog, who, because they are acutely aware that there must be others out there similarly vexed by same-sex dreams and/or childhood homosexual experiences, are hyper-focussed on the sexual orientation of others. For such individuals, looking at the world suspiciously in this manner for signs of latent homosexuality creates a veritable mine field in which they inevitably identify each other, often through only mutually apprehensive, averted eye contact. It’s akin to two pickpockets in a crowd recognizing each other as cons because each sees the other similarly scrutinizing the crowd for vulnerabilities. A senseless battle of attrition ensues between mutually identified homophobes that pits otherwise descent people against each other in a game of psychological warfare where each combatant ironically seeks to non-verbally convey the same message to the other: ‘you are gay, I’m not .. and I dislike gay people’. This behavior manifests itself daily in settings as benign as workplaces, on streets, and in public gatherings – anywhere such individuals have a chance to deduce a common history based on the subtlest of visual cues.

There are no real victors in this battle, merely those that are somewhat better equipped at doling out and enduring psychological warfare. Ultimately this vicious behavior only serves to surreptitiously poison human interactions, erode the spirit, and stultify true potential. The extent to which individuals are thus affected is variable – from only slightly irritating for some, to debilitating and affecting quality of life for others. Sadly, individuals mired in this conflict most often can’t appeal for help from anyone because they are homophobic to begin with, and are thus unlikely to acknowledge having had the troubling homoerotic dreams and/or experiences that would explain why they’re acutely sensible to such silent rebuke and unfriendliness.

One Response to “The Hidden Homophobia War That Stems From Same-Sex Dreams”

  1. I made a proposal in the A Voice for Men forum regarding the animal origins of human sexuality. In it, I suggest that the existing sexual relationship is a sorry consequence of civilization, compared to the original primitive relationship, and that homosexuality (among other relationships) is a logical consequence.

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